If you are here, it’s because you love someone walking through infertility. I want you to know that you are doing the right thing by taking the time to be here to listen and to learn about how you can better support your friend, sister, daughter and/or daughter in law. I know that you may feel confused about the things she is feeling or not quite understand why she seems so closed off. I know it may seem like you’re never saying the right thing or doing the right thing or being the kind of support she needs and that probably feels frustrating. I know that you’ve probably wondered why she can’t “just snap out of it” or “be happy for them” or “move on from this.” My goal in this episode is to meet you in your frustration and provide some more context and put words to the things she is experiencing which will hopefully give you a little bit more empathy and understanding for her pain. I also hope to give you very practical and helpful ways that you can love her well in this storm.

Very early on in my infertility journey, I realized there were three types of people I would encounter.

Someone that doesn’t get it and doesn’t try to get it. These people can be very toxic to your heart, so I’d recommend putting up boundaries and loving these people from afar.

Someone that doesn’t get it, but tries really hard to understand. Keep these people close because they are incredibly valuable. They will not always say the right things, but it’s easy to give them grace because they care deeply and they try hard.

Someone that gets it because they too have walked this road. The value that someone brings to your heart when they can raise their hand and say “me too!” is deep. Even if their story is different, there is an immediate understanding and validation of the pain you are feeling. If you don’t have someone like this in your life, join our free Sisterhood community.

During my darkest and most uncertain days, I had a friend invite me into her life and let me love on and serve her family. Little by little, day by day, God healed my heart as I was able to love on the two most precious little blonde girls. It was during this time in my life that I found so much purpose in my pain. It wasn’t fancy. It wasn’t big and world changing. It was through simple acts of showing up when my friend asked and serving her family. This time taught me a lot of things and I want to share some of those with you today.

One of the hardest parts of this journey is all the lies we allow ourselves to believe. These lies can come from other people and they can also be lies from the devil that we allow our heart to believe. It’s important to distinguish what is true from what is not.

One of the biggest lessons I learned as I navigated the emotions of my infertility journey was that grief and joy can coexist. It seems simple, but once I recognized that this was possibly, my heart felt lighter. I could more freely and confidently express to others that my tears over their joy were not actually about them. They were about the brokenness of my story. If you are feeling overwhelmed and confused each time your friends share joyous news with you, you are not alone. I hope these truths help you put words to the things you are feeling.

The Infertility Sisterhood exists to provide empathy (because you don’t have to walk this road alone), encouragement (because there is hope even in the hard stuff), education (because the decisions you make matter) and empowerment (because you have a purposeful path forward).