Friend, I have lots of resources I can (and want to) give you to help you on this road.

But, first, I just want you to know how loved and seen you are. 

If you’re anything like me, your life right now might look a little something like this:

You’re sitting on the bathroom floor in tears…again. The excitement of starting to try for kids is quickly fading because month after month your dreams are crushed as you stare at another negative test. 

You want to know what's going on, but you're also kinda scared to find out.

Or maybe you're on your couch in oversized clothes because all the medicine and stress has packed on the pounds. Your hubby keeps asking if you’re ok and all you can do is nod because if you try to explain how you feel, the tears might actually never stop. 

And you’re so over crying about this, but you don’t know what else to do. You haven't worked up the courage to tell anyone other than your spouse because just saying it out loud makes it feel real. And this can't be real, right?

Or maybe you just got the call from your doctor that yet another round of treatment failed and you don't even know where to go from here. The money, the time, and the dreams in your heart still sitting there unrealized are too much for one girl to handle. You just want something--anything--to go your way.

Not to mention, you basically want to erase all social media forever because you just might scream if you see another pregnancy announcement. When the heck is it going to be your turn? And why does everyone feel the need to shout their joy from the freaking rooftops? Don’t they know how hard this is?

I get it. Oh, sister, do I ever get it. I’ve been there, and I know how you feel. Wherever you are in your journey, I want you to know your pain is real and your feelings are valid. 

But, let me tell you.... there is so much hope ahead.

Will you trust me when I tell you that you can overcome this? You can find peace and joy and clarity and a whole lot of grace right where you are.

You can! I’m telling you this because I was right where you are not that long ago. I went through two rounds of IVF, had my twin boys, went through another transfer and lost our sweet baby girl, and then had another transfer that led us to our youngest son, James. I love my babies so, so, so much. They’re my miracles, my dreams come true, the bright light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. 

But guess what?

My babies alone don’t fix the hole in my heart. Infertility exposed things in my heart that were so much deeper than my desire for babies. It revealed some real ugly things like bitterness and my need for control. But it also showed me some truly beautiful things like my need for truth, purpose, and an unshakeable identity and confidence in something bigger than me. 

The truth is, what I found on this journey is richer than gold. I found grace.

Grace met me in the dark moments and carried me into the light. It’s because of grace I made it through infertility, and as a mom of young boys, I still need so much grace every day.

I tell you all of this because I believe there is purpose in our pain. There is purpose in your season of waiting. This time is not wasted, friend. Your story matters, and there is beauty to come from what feels like nothing but ashes.

Do I hope and pray for your motherhood dreams to come true? Absolutely, friend. But even more than that, I want you to embrace the hope, grace, and truth I’ve found. And while the path of infertility is uncertain, I can tell you without a doubt that the peace, joy and grace that has come my way is right here waiting for you, too.